I have been mulling this over & over whilst in the garden today.
Do I get in contact with the mother of his child & fiancee? I know she has since remarried quite recently. She was the victim of discard whilst he lined up his next love interest.
The replacement was a victim of sexual assault. He told me he used a belt and got out of hand. I wonder what her version is?
There was an unknown woman prior to him returning to the UK. His bff paid a visit as he was threatening suicide to his parents & parents were worried that he may go through with it.
Do I contact the woman after my discard? The one who saved him and made him happy again within two weeks of me leaving him because of his unbearable dangerous drunken antics & hospital staff advising me that I didn’t need that. She was oblivious to his nature as she was overseas however days before they were to be reunited with a bottle of celebratory baby oil, she called it off. I remember her discard whilst he was wooing me back. Do I contact her?
Do I contact the woman who is an Anglophile and wished that she was in the UK during the Scottish Referendum? I invited her over but got no reply on the list. Interestingly in his messenger, she inquired as to who I was. I was a bit surprised that the man that wants to marry me never mentioned me to her. She got blocked and there was no contact for a few years. Lo & behold, she became a friend again a few months prior to the break up. Do I contact her?
I have thought about it as I am writing a book (well, will be when the dark nights come in). A book about coercive control. Himself was never going to feature in it but the last few months, I have taken the glasses off and am seeing the relationship clearly for the first time.
Spoke.to my counsellor yesterday and she admitted that she was wondering when it was going to end. I am looking forward to having a couple of booster sessions with her and will ask what she thinks about me contacting the women.
I dont want him to know I am writing this book. It will be anonymised, simply because none of them need any further attention. I don’t want any of them to play the injured victim. I am so tired of them twisting the truth and making a new version of their truth where they become the downtrodden victim
I absolutely hate the phenomenon that afflicts abusers…their ability to make it all about them.
I know not to take it personally, I get that they tries so hars to wear me down. I got run down by their constant demands but I am now in Control, it doesn’t work for them anymore.
I am also considering who will benefit from me writing this book. I fear for my safety in doing so, as I know that all of the characters will suffer from narcissistic injury and will pay all over their emotionally spurring rage against me.
I want to.writw this book for women. I don’t ever want to be accused of slander and libel.
I also.want to make.sure rhat I am not indulging myself